Summer...

Some of my posts may be a bit out of order, but I wanted to post about some thoughts I have been having so I don't forget them...that has been happening a lot lately.

It is summer...finally!?!  Yesterday my grandma and I were discussing how summer means so much to so many different people.  Some people refer to summer as a date on a calendar, or as a season, or as soon as the temperature rises.  Some people refer to summer as the end of school or the start of family vacations and visits to the beach.  Some people mourn at the arrival of summer due to kids being out of school and needing entertaining and the oppressing hot weather.  Although some people rejoice its arrival (oh es, I saw the janitor at Alex's school dancing yesterday!).  No matter how you look at it, it is inevitable.  This year I have some serious mixed feelings about summer's arrival.

My summer has officially started.  The weather is HOT (I really am not a fan of the heat), both my kids are out of school and the play dates and activities have started filling up the schedule.  So, why am I having so many mixed emotions!?!  First I am relieved.  I am so grateful that Alex is out of school.  This has been a year of learning for our whole family with Alex being in school and I am grateful that we made it all the way to the end. I am sad as I realize my boy is growing up very quickly and at times I feel like I wasn't present (physically or emotionally) for things I needed to be.  I got a little teary yesterday as I was at the school listening to the teachers say their goodbyes.  Then I feel excited!  We will get to enjoy so many things this summer, I almost don't know where to start!  Then finally I feel overwhelmed and anxious.  Now that it is summer, the ball is in my court and I have to decide what to do with it.  I am now 100% in charge of my children's growth and development.  I am determined to not let them waste their summer inside, even though at times that is all I want to do.  I now have to start seriously planning for next school year.  I have been working hard on living and enjoying the moment and not stressing what is ahead, but now I have to do some planning and organizing so that next year can be a success.  Hopefully I don't lose my mind.

With all of this going on in my brain, no wonder I have been so forgetful!  Well, I am determined most of all to be present with my children this summer.  I want to enjoy them and be part of their memories, not a bystander.  I know there are times when I would love to escape the arguing and tattling, but if it means that I have to miss out on the smiles and laughs...I don't wanna miss a thing (haha that Aerosmith song just ran through my mind).  Well that is it for now I guess.  So, until next time...