I wanted to post some thoughts on something that happened to me yesterday and I am afraid if I don't post something, I will forget it, and I don't want to forget it.
Yesterday was a LONG day! I had a million things to do and I was very tired! After all my "have-to-do" things were done, I decided to go ahead and go by the fabric store to pick up the stuff I needed to make the pants for the chili-cook off (strange, I know). Anyway, while I was there I was kind of browsing and wandering, trying to get my thoughts straight and figure out what I was doing. After a while I picked out my fabric (thanks for the help GiGi) and took it up to the counter to get cut. While standing in line, a woman came up in the line next to me with a stroller. Another woman then came up to her and apparently they knew each other, but hadn't seen each other in a while (yes, I was eavesdropping). The woman with the stroller proceeded to take her baby daughter out for the friend to see. Such a cute little butterball of a baby dressed in pink! My turn had come up in line and I was still smiling and gazing at the sweet baby when the girl at the counter broke my trance by saying, "I love babies!" Waking from my daydream I smiled and said , "Me too." She then proceeded to cut my fabric and then she said, "I think I may like them too much." I smiled, not sure how to reply, she then proceeded to tell me that she had just found out that she is pregnant. I gave her my congratulations with a smile and then her face darkened a bit. "That's not the whole story, maybe you should hold your congratulations," she said. She then proceeded to tell me that her and her boyfriend had 6 children already, the oldest 12 and the youngest is just over a year. She seemed sad and a bit overwhelmed at the thought of another. I then told her that my husband and I have been trying for two years to have our third child, but apparently He has other plans for us right now. She smiled halfheartedly and said that she wish she knew God's plan. I then told her, "Children are a blessing, a gift from our Heavenly Father and no matter what, she would be blessed for loving her children." She looked at me, handed me my stuff and smiled a bit. I wished her the best and told her that I hope everything goes well for her. I stepped away from the counter and that was it.
I told James about the experience and about her face. I can't get her face out of my mind, even as I type this, I am overwhelmed. I wish I had told her more, I wish I knew her name. I am not one of those people that can talk to anyone, in fact, I avoid people most of the time. I am determined to return to the fabric store and try to find her. I want to give her a Mormon.org pass-along card. I also feel a bit selfish. I feel like an opportunity for me to meet someone who might want to place their baby up for adoption walked right into my path...did I say the right things? For some reason, I have this...love? for this woman and I can't get her off my mind. I pray that she feels Heaven;y Father's love for her. I pray that she knows that there is a plan for all of us and that it is scary and hard, but totally worth it.
I don't have experiences like this. This stuff doesn't happen to me, I come across the same people every week and we exchange the same pleasantries. Maybe this happened because I asked James what he thinks I should work on personally, maybe some other reason... I feel blessed to have met her and I pray that I have done and will do what my Heavenly Father wants me to do for this woman. I feel almost crazy for mulling this whole thing over in my mind over and over again, but her face is there, in my thoughts. How do we know when we have done our best? What more can I do for this woman who I don't even know? I guess we will wait and see. I need to find some more reasons to go to the fabric store I guess...
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