A Prayer Request

I am not sure why I am putting this in a blog post, but it seemed like the place for it.  I hate being negative and full of bad news on Facebook, and I think at times when I am stressed and tired, I tend to be that way.  So, I figure if I put this on my blog, friends have a choice whether or not to read it.  So, here is what is going on, and my request to the world.

Holy Moly I am pregnant!  Yes, after I had decided I was done trying, I was just gonna get through March and then we were going to quit trying completely for a year...I am pregnant.  I went to the doctor yesterday and we had no heartbeat, but a gestational sac.  This scared the crap out of me since this is what happened in December, but I was eight weeks late.  This time I am maybe a week late ( I am not sure, I had even quit tracking my periods, I had thrown in the towel).  My doctor is confident that it is just too early, so he took some blood to test my progesterone and HCG levels and I go back in on Monday for more.  We want these tests to come back with my progesterone being over 5 (over 15 would be fabulous, but that is rare) and we want my HCG levels to continue to climb.

I have probably mentioned before that I have an AMAZING ObGyn!  He knew I was upset about the ultrasound and feeling very discouraged (I still am a bit, but trying not to be) so he told me that positive thinking and prayer is going to carry me through this.  He told me to gather my family together and to call them all to prayer.  He told us to pray for the baby to keep developing, that my body would produce the right amount of hormones to support the baby, and that I will be healthy.  So, I put this prayer request out to all of my friends and family.  I have seen mighty miracles come to pass through prayer and I have faith that Heavenly Father knows me and my heart.  I pray that you will support me in this effort as I know that I am to have more children, and that my work to bring spirits into this world is not over.  James is fasting this Sunday and I know that through our faith, prayers and fasting, we will be blessed, no matter what happens.

I have a  strong testimony of the gospel.  I know that my Heavenly Father is with me all of the time and he knows my struggles and my fears.  I know that there is strength in friendship and family and that no matter where I am, I have someone to go to.  I pray that you won't judge me, or think I am asking for pity for my situation.  I am simply asking for a prayer in behalf of me, my body, my baby, and my family.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart, and I hope to have good news on Monday, and even better news after that.  So until next time...

Spring Break and More

This has been a few weeks of fun for our family, and most of them centered around Alex.  I will start with our first T-Ball Game!  This was amazing.  The kids practiced hard and tried their best and finally it paid off.  The A's won the game 15-8!  We were all amazed.  Most of the kids on the team are playing their first season (including Alex) and when we started practices the kids were hilariously jumping on top of each other and tackling the ball rather than playing as a team and that night they worked together so well it was amazing.  Alex hit a double and a single.  It was so sweet to watch his big smile as he ran across home plate!  He is getting so big and maturing so much.  For our first game I was assigned to bring snacks, so I brought Rice Krispie Treat Baseballs.  They were cute and Alex was so proud to hand them out to his friends.  He kept telling them, "My Mommy made these."  He makes us so proud.

Up to Bat



His first run!

That weekend we went on our very first camping trip as a family.  We went to Lake Sommerville and had a great time.  We piled everything into our little car, including both kids, both LARGE dogs, and all our stuff.  It was cramped, but we did it.  We loved our new tent that we got for Christmas and the boys enjoyed helping James put it up.  After we were settled we went to the lake to try some fishing.  It was WAY to windy, so we just played along the shoreline.  We found out that Moroni LOVES the water and running along the shore.  Hopefully we can take him to the beach some time.  Mason enjoyed being outside with the family, but wasn't a huge fan of the water.  We had a great time and got some sun.  We then made tin foil dinners that the boys loved and we roasted marshmallows.  The night was a bit restless for James and me because the dogs heard and wanted to check out every single noise...memo to us, maybe not bring both dogs next time.  In the morning we had pancakes and enjoyed playing at our campsite, packed up and went home.  It was a great way to spend our 6th anniversary.

Camping Boys

Playing with worms!

Moroni LOVED the water!

My hubby with the furry kids

Daddy and Eric eating breakfast

Then we celebrated our little man turning 5!  HOLY MOLY ALEX IS 5!?!  Since his birthday was during the week, we went to a movie and ate at one of his favorite restaurants.  Mars Needs Moms is an awesome movie and I would encourage anyone and everyone to see it.  During the movie Alex got a bit nervous and turned to me and said, "You're not gonna get taken by aliens right Mommy, I love you and I need you."  I was touched and it brought a little tear to my eye. 


We enjoyed having GiGi come visit for a few days.  We spent time together and shared lots of laughs and good times.  The boys loved having her here and are excited to go and visit her soon.  The biggest reason she came was for Alex's big birthday party.  We held the party at The Little Gym and it was amazing!  The kids had a great time and it was very easy for me, I just had to bring the camera and the cake.  Alex loved rolling and jumping and playing with his friends (all 15 of them).  I was so grateful for the staff and all of their hard work.  I was eternally grateful that all those kids weren't at my house and that I didn't have to clean up after them.  Alex wanted a Star Wars theme and the Little Gym made everything space themed and really got the kids using their imaginations. 

Birthday Boy!

Mmmmmm...cake!

Now it is Sunday and things are returning to normal.  We had ward conference, shared a yummy dinner with GiGi, GiGi left and now all I can here are little boys laughing and the blaze of light sabres.  Life is amazing and I am dreading Monday a bit, but I know it will be a great week.  I have a great family and I have been blessed more than I can even measure.  Now to go plan Monday's FHE lesson.  This month we have been focusing on "Manners" and it seems to be helping.  So until next week...

Baby Days are Gone for Now

Well, this weekend did not turn out as we had planned, but it was amazing!  Alex is now playing T-Ball and Saturday was supposed to be the big Opening Day ceremonies and first game, but due to the weather, it was cancelled.  We were a bit disappointed that there would be no game, but we found ourselves dressed, and ready for the day at 7:45 AM all together as a family and we couldn't let the opportunity to accomplish some things pass us by.  We went home, changed our shirts (we were all decked out in our baseball gear) and headed out to go furniture shopping. 

We decided to go to Gallery Furniture.  I decided that since I had never been there, I wanted to check it out, and I guess you can't say you've seen the attractions in Houston until you have been to this store.  Holy Moly it is amazing!  They not only sell furniture, but there are Capuchin Monkeys, Tropical Birds, Playground, Free Food (and real food as a matter of fact), TVs in the bathroom...anything you can imagine...oh and furniture too.  We went to search out a bed for the boys.  We have been planning on moving them to big boys beds and just couldn't decide on what we wanted and we couldn't find time to shop, so this rainy day was perfect.  We found a set of bunk beds for them.  This thing is packed with storage (which we need in a small house) and they will grow in to it, not out of it any time soon.  The purchasing process was easy and we had a great time.  We met the one and only Mattress Mack and got to take pictures with the monkeys.  We had a great time, but then the real work began.  They were going to deliver our furniture that night, so we had to get their room ready to receive it.  I had hoped to paint their room before, but we didn't have time, since this was a bit spur of the moment. 

The boys with Sasha the monkey at Gallery Furniture

We went home and started a major clean out of the boys room and stuff.  James got the shed organized and started moving stuff out to the shed that we will put into our garage sale and I packaged up a ton of baby stuff to give to a friend.  The boy's room is now completely free of baby items.  I had been storing some baby stuff in their closet, but not any more.  We have decided to get rid of as much baby stuff as possible.  Our home is too small and there don't seem to be any babies heading our way, so we don't see the reason to keep holding on to something that isn't happening right now.  This is a sad thing for us to realize, but a necessary thing as we have made a goal to make 2011 our de-clutter year.  We will de-clutter our home and our lives so that we can focus on what is important and essential to our salvation.  We got rid of so much stuff it was a cleansing process.  By 10:00 that night the boy's bed was delivered, assembled, toys put away, clothes out away, new bed linens on, and the boys were tucked in!  the day was the most productive day we have had in a while (due to illness and schedules) and everyone helped (even Eric). 

The Big Boy Beds!

I think this process of cleaning out the old and pressing forward to the new is good for all of us.  I have two Big Boys now, and they are no longer babies.  There are no more onesies, diapers, high chairs, or bottles in the house.  I fold little character underwear and play Star Wars.  My boys may be getting bigger, but they will always be my babies.  tonight i addressed the invitations to Alex's 5th birthday party!  I cannot believe he will be in Kindergarten in a few months!  He has matured so much!  Eric is growing more and more and will be in preschool next year!  What will I do with myself!?!  This is definitely a new step for us and I think we are handling it as well as we can.  Maybe one day we will hear the pitter patter of baby feet, but right now we hear laser sound effects, thumping, running, laughing, singing, and tattling...so until next time...

My Big Boys!

A Chance Meeting

I wanted to post some thoughts on something that happened to me yesterday and I am afraid if I don't post something, I will forget it, and I don't want to forget it.

Yesterday was a LONG day!  I had a million things to do and I was very tired!  After all my "have-to-do" things were done, I decided to go ahead and go by the fabric store to pick up the stuff I needed to make the pants for the chili-cook off (strange, I know).  Anyway, while I was there I was kind of browsing and wandering, trying to get my thoughts straight and figure out what I was doing.  After a while I picked out my fabric (thanks for the help GiGi) and took it up to the counter to get cut.  While standing in line, a woman came up in the line next to me with a stroller.  Another woman then came up to her and apparently they knew each other, but hadn't seen each other in a while (yes, I was eavesdropping).  The woman with the stroller proceeded to take her baby daughter out for the friend to see.  Such a cute little butterball of a baby dressed in pink!  My turn had come up in line and I was still smiling and gazing at the sweet baby when the girl at the counter broke my trance by saying, "I love babies!"  Waking from my daydream I smiled and said , "Me too."  She then proceeded to cut my fabric and then she said, "I think I may like them too much."  I smiled, not sure how to reply, she then proceeded to tell me that she had just found out that she is pregnant.  I gave her my congratulations with a smile and then her face darkened a bit.  "That's not the whole story, maybe you should hold your congratulations," she said.  She then proceeded to tell me that her and her boyfriend had 6 children already, the oldest 12 and the youngest is just over a year.  She seemed sad and a bit overwhelmed at the thought of another.  I then told her that my husband and I have been trying for two years to have our third child, but apparently He has other plans for us right now.  She smiled halfheartedly and said that she wish she knew God's plan.  I then told her, "Children are a blessing, a gift from our Heavenly Father and no matter what, she would be blessed for loving her children."  She looked at me, handed me my stuff and smiled a bit.  I wished her the best and told her that I hope everything goes well for her.  I stepped away from the counter and that was it. 

I told James about the experience and about her face.  I can't get her face out of my mind, even as I type this, I am overwhelmed.  I wish I had told her more, I wish I knew her name.  I am not one of those people that can talk to anyone, in fact, I avoid people most of the time.  I am determined to return to the fabric store and try to find her.  I want to give her a Mormon.org pass-along card.  I also feel a bit selfish.  I feel like an opportunity for me to meet someone who might want to place their baby up for adoption walked right into my path...did I say the right things?  For some reason, I have this...love? for this woman and I can't get her off my mind.  I pray that she feels Heaven;y Father's love for her.  I pray that she knows that there is a plan for all of us and that it is scary and hard, but totally worth it. 

I don't have experiences like this.  This stuff doesn't happen to me, I come across the same people every week and we exchange the same pleasantries.  Maybe this happened because I asked James what he thinks I should work on personally, maybe some other reason...  I feel blessed to have met her and I pray that I have done and will do what my Heavenly Father wants me to do for this woman.  I feel almost crazy for mulling this whole thing over in my mind over and over again, but her face is there, in my thoughts.  How do we know when we have done our best?  What more can I do for this woman who I don't even know?  I guess we will wait and see.  I need to find some more reasons to go to the fabric store I guess...

Catching Up

I can't believe I have let my blog slip!  I have thought about things to post and things to say, but they never seem to make it onto the computer.  January turned into February faster than I could have imagined.  Now, here I am on a VERY busy Tuesday afternoon and I decide to update this ting!  What am I thinking?  I can honestly say that our life just continues to march forward and not much changes, well, not anything big changes.  Eric is still in Tumbling and loves his new teacher and new class.  Every day he is more and more independent and at times I have to come up with ways to let him think he is in charge, even though I am in control.  I always have to be on my toes with that one.  Alex is doing great in school.  He is making friends and actually playing with them, and not just next to them.  I love his teachers, they are amazingly patient.  Today was Alex's Valentine's Day party at school and I have to pat myself on the back...I did a pretty darn good job keeping it organized and simple.  High five to me!  Now I am home, brownies are baked for tonight's Relief Society meeting, shirt is ironed (because of course I have spots on the shirt I wore today), car is loaded up for T-Ball practice that I have to leave for soon and the kids are having some quiet time so that they can keep on chugging until bed time tonight.  James has been working long hours (as usual) but he is getting off a little early to come to tonight's activity with me. 

James celebrated his 28th birthday!  We didn't do anything spectacular, just time together as a family.  It was nice to be able to have him around for a little time.  He is my everything.  Even though I am not a big fan of Valentine's Day and think it is a bit overrated, he bought me some of my favorite chocolates and a soft blanket and pillow.  He is so sweet and he listens for little clues about what I would like.  He makes me smile constantly and I can't imagine what I did to deserve him.

I am currently working on some new medication.  They are trying to keep my stubborn thyroid in check and it doesn't like it one bit!  I will find out if this medication is working in a few weeks, but I don't feel any different.  I am amazed at how much Heavenly Father has strengthened me.  I still live each day in a low-level pain that flares up daily and somehow, I haven't lost my mind and have been able to deal with it.  Someday, someone might know what is wrong with me, but until then, I will try to stay calm, wear socks, not get too cold, and focus on the positive things in life.  My doctor wants me to get allergy tested, but I don't know if I am up to it yet.  Each new test brings that flicker of hope that something will show up and give us some answers...and every time the hope is squashed by inconclusive results.  I was tested for Lupus and it was negative (thank goodness) so I usually think that I am just crazy :)  I am grateful that James has been able to help me through some of my rough episodes and helped me to stay focused.  The blanket he got my for Valentine's Day is VERY soft and warm...just right when the pain starts to flare up.  Even through all of the health issues I feel extremely blessed and powerful.  I feel that I can achieve almost anything and that no matter what, I will always have my family and my testimony. 

I will be posting more soon.  I love to write and typing this has really helped me express some things right now.  I have really been focusing on my personal relationship with my Heavenly Father and I want to make sure I document some of the changes I feel and the things that have been going on, so I can look back and reflect.  Each day is a new adventure, yet the same old story (hmmm...I like the way that sounds).  Until next time...

Mr. Independent

I have to dedicate this blog post to my Eric.  This kid has been cracking me up and amazing me so much lately. 

Only a few hours old

Little Gym Graduation

For a few weeks now, Eric is determined to do everything by himself.  The words I hear the most during the day are "I DO IT!" "NO HELP" "I GOT IT"...well, you get it.  This whole thing started with wanting to buckle himself  into the car seat, I let him do the top one and that kept him satisfied for a few days.  Next we move on to washing himself in the tub, getting his own snack, brushing his teeth, washing his face, reaching a toy...etc, etc.  Finally, last week, I think Monday he told me "I have to go potty."  Being a mother of two children and having spent over 10 months potty training my other kid I leaped at this comment.  Eric then proceeded to the bathroom, pulled out the potty seat that has been living under the sink for almost a year, and went in the potty!  Happy dancing Mommy and some M&M's later I am sure that this was a one time thing and it wont happen again.  WRONG!  This kid is potty training himself!  On that Friday, while at Wal-Mart he asked me for some underwear...how could I deny such a cute request!?!  As of today he averages an accident a day, but I am not complaining.  I finally convinced him to wear a pull-up while we are out since he is a bit nervous about the big potty.  The only way he bought into the whole "big boy diaper" (he calls it that) was because they have Toy Story characters on them (Thank you Huggies Pull Ups).  This week he also graduated from his first semester at The Little Gym.  He is moving up to the next level with a big smile and some new skills.  I love having the special Mommy-Eric time we share each week during Tumbling and I have watched him develop a lot of confidence.  This has been so much fun to watch, but a bit heart wrenching as I start to realize that in a few months my Alex will be FIVE and Eric will be potty trained!  I can't imagine a diaper free house and no diaper bag being lugged around, but I guess that this is the season of my life I am entering.  I am losing my babies and getting big boys.  I love them so much and I am enjoying watching their personalities mature and develop.  I am the mother of two very different kids that are still a lot alike in many ways.  I am so blessed and as I look over and watch Alex play with his trains and Eric rest on the couch I can only think of how much joy they bring to my life and I can't imagine it any other way.  I am gonna go give the a squeeze, so until next time...

2011-A Year of Change

I cannot help but smirk a bit as I put the title on this.  I got so tired of hearing the word "Change" during the Obama campaign, and yet here I am using it.  As a family, we have sat down and talked about our goals for this year.  We don't like to call the resolutions because a resolution just asks to be forgotten and broken, so we call them goals.  This year we have decided to move from our home.  I am not positive where we will end up or the logistics of everything, but I do know that Heavenly Father knows what is best for us and as long as we follow his counsel and do what we are supposed to be doing, we will be blessed.  I do not want to spend next Christmas in the home we are currently in, and that is incentive enough for me.  Another goal we have set is that we will continue on our path to self-reliance.  Last year was a big leap for us as we were determined to get our finances and priorities in order so that we could move forward in the Lord's work.  This year is sure to bring excitement for our family.  Our doctor has told us that if we aren't pregnant by March/April, then we might want to "consider other options".  James and I have discussed this a lot...a whole lot!  We have prayed and for the time being we are saying that we will continue to do everything we can to prepare ourselves to welcome another spirit into our homes and if my body cannot and will not support this, then we will look further in to adoption.  This at times is easier said than done.  I never imagined that at 25 my body would decide to call it quits in the baby department...but that's what I get for making a plan.  I daily pray that we will have another and some days are harder than others, but I continue to work on my testimony and being the best me that I can be.  I have found that my focus has changed and has been turned a bit inward.  I am usually trying to change things around me, but I have come to understand that the only thing I can change is myself and my focus.  I am determined to be better and to continue to grow and to try my hardest not to let things of the world weaken my testimony and will.  Every day is a new day that i am determined to be excited about.  I don't want this year to go by in a blur like last year did.  I am keeping a family journal and I am trying to enjoy my boys as much as possible.  I am so blessed and at times I do have the "woe is me" syndrome, but I want to work on keeping an uplifting attitude and to help others feel that they are loved just by being around me.  I love how much I feel my Savior's love.  he has held me very tight these last few months and dried my tears and I think he is ready to let me stand back up again and I want to prove that I can do great things with the body he has blessed me with.  I am excited for this new year and I am thrilled that I have this day to live.  So until next time...